You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
