Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
