Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
