My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
