it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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