is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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