i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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