i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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