so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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