OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
