I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you have to choose: penises or morals?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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