I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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