She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
