did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Come see our sink grown plant.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
she pinky promised me she was 18
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Be still, my beating vagina.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
