he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
