there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
