im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
