U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
