Is it normal to miss your booty call?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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