sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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