I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Is it penis luge time yet?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
