according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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