you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
