i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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