your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
