i'm signing you up for texting rehab
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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