I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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