did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
