In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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