so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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