It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
