i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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