today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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