I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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