I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
