YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
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So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
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I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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