What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
