i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
