btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
