goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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