So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
