CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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