Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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