Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
