U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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