Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
