I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
