i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
her facebook's as public as her vagina
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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