If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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