How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
