if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
