Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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