Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
