That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
