the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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