he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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