so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize