my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
